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29 November 2005 @ 06:02 pm
An Important post, reposted from my friend Amy, 'hellonwheels01'  
if a woman is drunk, don't rape her.
if a woman is walking alone at night, don't rape her.
if a women is drugged and unconscious, don't rape her.
if a woman is wearing a short skirt, don't rape her.
if a woman is jogging in a park at 5 am, don't rape her.
if a woman looks like your ex-girlfriend you're still hung up on, don't rape her.
if a woman is asleep in her bed, don't rape her.
if a woman is asleep in your bed, don't rape her.
if a woman is doing her laundry, don't rape her.
if a woman is in a coma, don't rape her.
if a woman changes her mind in the middle of or about a particular activity, don't rape her.
if a woman has repeatedly refused a certain activity, don't rape her.

if a woman is not yet a woman, but a child, don't rape her.
if your girlfriend or wife is not in the mood, don't rape her.
if your step-daughter is watching tv, don't rape her.
if you break into a house and find a woman there, don't rape her.
if your friend thinks it's okay to rape someone, tell him it's not, and that he's not your friend.

if your "friend" tells you he raped someone, report him to the police.
if your frat-brother or another guy at the party tells you there's an unconscious woman upstairs and it's your turn, don't rape her, call the police and tell the guy he's a rapist.

tell your sons, god-sons, nephews, grandsons, sons of friends it's not okay to rape someone.

don't tell your women friends how to be safe and avoid rape.
don't imply that she could have avoided it if she'd only done/not done x.
don't imply that it's in any way her fault.
don't let silence imply agreement when someone tells you he "got some" with the drunk girl.
don't perpetuate a culture that tells you that you have no control over or responsibility for your actions. You can, too, help yourself.

If you agree, repost it. It's that important.
 
 
 
blue_aingeal: bastardsaingeal311 on November 30th, 2005 05:19 am (UTC)
I totally agree with all of this from the standpoint of not being the woman. However, "don't tell your women friends how to be safe and avoid rape"? Maybe I'm reading it wrong, but isn't it important to know what situations to avoid and how to protect yourself because there will likely be men who don't pay attention to the rest of this list?
A.M.ultimategirl on November 30th, 2005 10:55 pm (UTC)
Well, women already are repeatedly told to protect themselves from rape. Women get all kinds of advice on how to avoid rape. Very often, the implication is that women are supposed to prevent rape, as though women are primarily (and solely) responsible for the occurrence of rape. With all the focus on what a woman is doing, the rapist becomes invisible; the fact that a rapist makes a conscious decision to violate the body of another human being is generally ignored.

Another thing is that much of the advice really doesn't address the reality of the majority of rapes. Stuff like "don't go out alone at night" and "keep your doors locked" is aimed at reducing the risk of stranger rape, but 70% of women (and 74% of men) are raped by someone they already know. The majority of rapes take place either in the victim's own home or in the home of someone they know, not exactly the most avoidable of situations.

Self-defense and plans of protection are great (and, as I said, most women already do that sort of thing). But it's time to stop talking about what women are supposedly doing to cause rape, and focus on the responsibility of the rapist for the actual crime.
Mark: Calvin Hobbes Hugboywondermark on December 1st, 2005 02:39 am (UTC)
I love how you explain things Anne! You are such a caring and informed Gal! :)

~hugs~
dendroidmandendroidman on December 8th, 2005 07:25 pm (UTC)
good info. i was rather troubled how this didn't include boys and the such.