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29 June 2005 @ 07:58 pm
Gay (or str8) Relationships...  


I'm curious! We of course know that there are many 1 on 1 monogamous gay relationships! I think it's something that at least MOST of us wish for. BUT...what do you guys/gals think about nonconventional relationships? Commited trios or more? Is this something you could do? Something you desire? There is the Howard Roffman set of pics (One above) featuring a commited 3some...In the story that Jase and I are writing, I have a group of 5 married elves...I must admit, as a fantasy, I find this idea kind of exciting, but in reality, I wonder if I could do it! I'm ashamed to admit it, but I can be VERY jealous...shocking, I know! LOL!! SOOOOOOOOO...what do y'all think? Could you be involved in a nonconventional relationship? What kind do you see yourself in?

To help, I found this list on a Gay LJ community (Not sure where...sorry!)...thought it was interesting...

Polyandry:
1. The possession by a woman of more than one husband at the same time; -- contrasted with {monandry}.
2. Generally the husbands are subservient to the Mistress.
3. Usually involves communal living arrangement.

Polygamy :
1. The having of a plurality of wives or husbands at the same time; usually, the marriage of a man to more than one woman, or the practice of having several wives, at the same time; -- opposed to monogamy; as, the nations of the East practiced polygamy.
2. The state or habit of having more than one mate (male or female).
3. Generally has a Master in which the wives / mates are subservient.
4. Usually involves communal living arrangement.
5. Usually but not neccesarily exclusive / closed.

Polygyny:
1. The state or practice of having several wives at the same time; marriage to several wives.
2. Historically used term to describe a poly "family".
3. Usually involves communal living arrangement.

Polyamory :
1. "Loving more than one". This love may be sexual, emotional, spiritual, or any combination thereof.
2. "Polyamorous" is also used as a descriptive term by people who are open to more than one relationship even if they are not currently involved in more than one.
3. Loosely used in the past few decades to mask "swingers" groups under a poly label.
4. Members may or may not be "faithful" and practice "open relationships".
5. May or may not have Master / subservient hierarchy.
6. Sometimes involves communal living arrangement.

Polyfidelity :
1. Relationship involving more than two people who have made a commitment to keep the sexual activity within the group and not have outside partners. (Rumor has it that this term was coined by the group Kerista.)
2. Often has a Master and subservients.
3. Usually involves communal living arrangement.
4. Elements of Polyequity sometimes involved.

Polyequity :
1. Poly relationships that are not primary / secondary based, yet not really about being "equal".
2. "Secondary" pertains to issues like long-term marriages or relationships that add new partners and those partners desiring to have equal respect and to be of equal value without necessarily being equal in all the ways acquired by long association and relationship investment (like children)."
3. Not neccesarily exclusive.
4. Sometimes involves communal living arrangement.
5. Usually does not have Master and subservients (members are more "equal")

Line Marriage:
1. Poly relationship with empahsis on polyfidelity.
2. The group is usually even-numbered (4 / 6 / 8 ect.)
3. This family is generational : usually an older couple, mid-aged couple, younger ones; and as the elders die, new and younger couples are added to the group, thus truly perpetuating the family.
4. Usually involves communal living arrangement.
5. Master(s) are typically the elders.

Polysexuality:
1. Often a single person merely haveing sexual relations with many different people.
2. Sometimes a couple will regard their "open relationship" by this term.
3. Usually does not involve communal living arrangements (sometimes yes).
4. Normally does not involve feelings of love or committment.
5. If a master/slave situation occurrs it is usually just for "play" reasons.




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Mark: Yaoiboywondermark on June 30th, 2005 04:03 pm (UTC)
OMG, Dan! I've never thought about the ADD/sex thing...y'know...hope this is not TMI, but I do find myself wandering mentally if I'm not fully engaged, so to speak!
Your story sounds great...I'll look it up, hon!
Dan the gnomebrewergnome on June 30th, 2005 04:54 pm (UTC)
It's pretty hard to TMI me, honestly. I've had way too many sex-positive friends for that.

Yeah, it can seriously be an issue in sex, especially given that I'm a less sexual person in general.

The story is fun and I really like the premise. The biggest hangup I had was trying to write from the perspective of the Sen (the aliens). They have no actual names, no languages, no words for things, and no gender. Trying to describe a non-verbal ungendered society in human words is not an easy thing. That's why I decided to shelve it for now.
Mark: Icarusboywondermark on June 30th, 2005 06:07 pm (UTC)
I see what you mean, Dan! You really set up quite a task for yourself! Maybe you need to come up with a fictitious pronoun?!
Dan the gnomebrewergnome on June 30th, 2005 06:12 pm (UTC)
I like hard problems.

Inventing a fictious pronoun would require them having a language for there to be pronouns in. They don't understand the CONCEPT of pronouns (or lying, or war).
Mark: elf Sylvanboywondermark on June 30th, 2005 06:28 pm (UTC)
I see what you mean...hmmm...difficult to write. So...since they speak in images, are they always speaking of absolutes? I mean...is nothing vague or similar? They will have to have SEEN what they are communicating?
Dan the gnomebrewergnome on June 30th, 2005 06:33 pm (UTC)
No, there are vague things, but there are no ambiguities (if that makes sense). If the emotion or idea that one Sen is transmitting to another is confused, then the receiving Sen will still recieve a confused idea. Just like you can communicate and image that you've imagined, so can they.

Another piece of info I didn't give you is that they're constitutive telempaths. That is, they can repress it with a concious effort, but it's hard and otherwise they are completely open at all times to the rest of the Sen on the planet. As such, and given their somewhat unique physiology, there is a group memory (though info still gets lost).
Mark: elf Drowboywondermark on June 30th, 2005 06:39 pm (UTC)
You DO like to make things difficult on yourself! I'd get migraines trying to write that!
Since they have relationships...do the Sen have their own concept of what is attractive in another Sen? What do they look like, Dan?
Dan the gnomebrewergnome on June 30th, 2005 06:53 pm (UTC)
Yes they do have their own concept. Part of the pull of the story (theoretically) is not even realizing they aren't human for a while, and then slowly (near the end of the first chapter) finding out what they look like... now I can't find the stupid post though.
Markboywondermark on June 30th, 2005 09:38 pm (UTC)
Cool! Sounds like a great story idea, Dan! A psychic would have a field day in that mind of yours!
Dan the gnomebrewergnome on July 1st, 2005 01:44 am (UTC)
A psychic would go CRAZy in that mind of mine! ::laughs::
Mark: Bat Riddlerboywondermark on July 1st, 2005 02:14 am (UTC)
Maybe...but a NICE kind of crazy, IMO! :)
(no subject) - brewergnome on July 1st, 2005 02:18 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - boywondermark on July 1st, 2005 02:33 am (UTC) (Expand)
Dan the gnomebrewergnome on June 30th, 2005 06:57 pm (UTC)
I'm so smart. I memoried it!

http://www.livejournal.com/users/brewergnome/92166.html

Keep in mind it's the first draft still.
Mark: ST Nogboywondermark on June 30th, 2005 10:10 pm (UTC)
Excellent, Dan! I just read it and enjoyed it very much. The imagery was very vivid...you have a nice use of descriptives!
Dan the gnomebrewergnome on July 1st, 2005 01:45 am (UTC)
::smiles:: Thanks. Description is all you have when even the dialogue is description! Luckily for me, description is my greatest talent besides, perhaps, character background. It's the plot that tends to stimie me.
Mark: Coyote2boywondermark on July 1st, 2005 02:21 am (UTC)
You've got a fertile mind...the plot will come! Keep jotting notes and stuff whenever an idea hits you!
(no subject) - brewergnome on July 1st, 2005 02:30 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - boywondermark on July 1st, 2005 02:34 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - brewergnome on July 1st, 2005 12:15 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - boywondermark on July 1st, 2005 12:30 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - brewergnome on July 1st, 2005 12:32 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - boywondermark on July 1st, 2005 11:09 pm (UTC) (Expand)