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03 April 2005 @ 04:21 pm
An explanation  
For the last month or so, it seems, I have been pretty negligent with my LJ and my LJ friends. For this I apologize. Without going into detail, there have been a few things going on in my life that have been causing me great stress. Sorry about the no details...I'm just tired of rehashing everything.
It seems that I'm fine with a major crisis, but when several smaller things hit me at once, It tends to drive my already high blood pressure through the roof.
When I'm under alot of stress, I tend to become somewhat introverted and very introspective. This year is maybe the year I will figure myself out. LOL.
I try to always be there for anyone who needs me, try to always be fair, try to take on problems for folks and help the best way I can. So...I'm trying to search myself and review my actions and figure out why, in the past 3 weeks, three people that I care about have used the phrase "I don't want to be in the middle" or "I hate being in the middle". I never ask people to 'Take sides' or even hint at it...I think that only magnifies a problem. However, even though I never asked, it still hurts to have that said to you...it leaves you feeling like you really aren't special or important enough to commit to.
Anyhoo...the stress has at least caused me to start back at the gym...cardio only for awhile (heart problems run in my dad's side of the family). Dad died of an abdominial aortic aneurysm and the docs said that his problems can be inherited especialy by male children. Lately, I've been thinking more seriously about this and plan on taking any steps I can to eat, exercise and live a more healthy life...hence the worry about smoothing out the stress in my life.
So...if I post very little or nothing at all for awhile...or respond or comment to your posts seldom if at all, don't take it personally...okay?
Love to all.
kaijuman on April 3rd, 2005 11:48 pm (UTC)
I'm so glad you posted this. I don't think anyone could take personally you not posting... but as friends we do begin to wonder. And it's really good to hear (er.. read) what's going on.
I think it's fantastic that your exercizing. God knows I need that motivation now myself - and for almost the same reasons.
The benifits can only be positive.
(and hey, just think how hot you'll look - LOL)

I think it's always a positive thing when you can break away from the computer (or tv, or video games) and do something that's constructive with your life. It makes one feel more fulfilled, and when you DO come back on line, you've got something positive to report to everyone.

I hope things go on an improved path for you.
Always look forward to hearing from you.

Markboywondermark on April 4th, 2005 12:20 am (UTC)
Y'know...I wonder about how you are feeling often, Phil, but can't get my ass motivated enough to write...I DO apologize for that! You are such a sweetheart, y'know that?!

*HUGZ back*