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06 January 2005 @ 11:29 am
HOLY TARDY TOME!  
LOL! I've been wanting this book for years and never saw it in the bookstores...never got around to ordering it either. My friend, Carole (at work)was ordering from Amazon, so I yelled over for her to add this book...she laughed her @ss off, of course! Well...it came and she brought it to me today...I can't wait to dig into it!



*Under the cut is a review by one of the readers if you are curious at all about the book's contents!*



"WARNING! R-Rated! Don't read this book if you are SEXUALLY CONSERVATIVE or EROTICALLY DEPRIVED!"

So declares Burt Ward (Robin from the legendary 60s TV series "Batman") at the beginning of his racy autobiography, "Boy Wonder: My Life in Tights." He's not exaggerating, either. The naughty stuff starts burning up the pages even before we hit Chapter One, and continues to do so throughout this hilarious, dirt-dishing show-biz expose.

Ward's memoirs read like a pornographic, hallucinogenic edition of the National Enquirer: containing all the celebrities, scandals and hyperbole one would expect from a tabloid, but with an additional explicitness and heightened sense of reality that recall the most lurid of paperback erotica. Holy leotarded lechery, Batman!

Kinky young fans in bat-costume; threesomes, foursomes and eightsomes; French, Samoan, American and Swamp (!) varieties - "My Life in Tights" presents a veritable catalogue of sexual permutations and combinations, as experienced by the author and his co-star, the insatiable Adam West (Batman). Nothing can prepare the reader for Ward's outlandishly purple prose - I mean, the guy's kinky way with words imbues even the most mundane descriptive sequence with other connotations...

Thankfully, however, Ward's eagerness to share every gory bedroom detail with us is counterbalanced by his irreverent humour, his highly developed sense of the absurd. Between passages that would make Jackie Collins blush, we get moments of unsurpassed hilarity.

And the source of this merriment is, almost invariably, the irrepressible Adam West. Portrayed as a boozing, egocentric womaniser, West couldn't have differed more from his stuffy small-screen alter-ego. His unique peccadilloes and unfailing ability to attract trouble (usually of the female variety) furnish the book with its funniest moments, recounted with affectionate relish by the ex-Boy Wonder. Take West's close encounter of the parasitic kind with a crazed red-head, for example:

"Into his mouth snaked that long, quivering tongue, not unlike what the creature did to the astronaut in Alien... This monster was like a 150-pound tick embedded in his face. During the ruckus, I caught glimpses of Adam's face covered with the drool and slobber of her wet kisses..." YOWZAH!

Although Burt Ward's brain often seems to be located in his (supposedly enormous) nether-regions, his book is not solely concerned with matters of the flesh. "Boy Wonder: My Life in Tights" also provides some valuable cultural insights, taking us behind the scenes of a super-successful TV series and beyond, into the mindset of the viewing generation it so affected, into the shadowy realm where life and art intersect...

"Truth is stranger than fiction, and this is the truth. Adam West has the unique ability to penetrate an audience's thoughts on a subconscious level... millions of women and men were affected around the world. His performance played subtle tricks on the unsuspecting minds of an unsuspecting audience..."

Tricks from which some of us will never recover...

 
 
 
Glenn: Jared Letorestoman on January 6th, 2005 05:49 pm (UTC)
Sounds like a fun book to read, you'll just need some asbestos gloves to turn the pages!! lol
Markboywondermark on January 6th, 2005 05:54 pm (UTC)
LOL! Not sure why, Glenn, but I've always had a bit of a crush on Burt Ward/Robin!
Vanessalockenessie on January 6th, 2005 06:10 pm (UTC)
and here I thought Chris O'Donnel was your fave!

Sounds like a good read, I may have to check it out. :)
Markboywondermark on January 6th, 2005 07:41 pm (UTC)
Well...Chris certainly ain't no chopped liver either!
Vanessa: Will Kemp by Ladybateslockenessie on January 8th, 2005 01:04 am (UTC)
They say variety is the spice of life!
Timtim_cat on January 7th, 2005 05:30 am (UTC)
okay......I must read this book. You have to tell us what you think! I wanna read it too! :) I had a bit of a crush on Burt Ward too!!
Markboywondermark on January 7th, 2005 01:36 pm (UTC)
LOL...YOU DID?! He was such a cutie, wasn't he?!
So, I've read chapter one and, OMG...that poor guy! LOL! I won't spill the beans...don't worry!
I brought the book to work with me and now I want to run home and watch the Batman movie...the original!

I'll let you know when it gets to all the juicey stuff...but, I promise not to go into detail too much! ;)

(PS. Rest up, lil buddy!)
Timtim_cat on January 8th, 2005 04:09 am (UTC)
WooHoo!! :)
Markboywondermark on January 10th, 2005 02:28 am (UTC)
LOL! ~smooch~
Vanessalockenessie on January 8th, 2005 01:05 am (UTC)
I don't know about Burt Ward, but I wanted to BE Catwoman.

Purrrrrrfect!