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13 May 2005 @ 10:43 pm
A few thoughts/jokes from R.A. Wilson...  
Three Texas surgeons were playing golf together and discussing surgeries they had performed. One of them said, "I'm the best surgeon in Texas. A concert pianist lost 7 fingers in an accident. I reattached them, and 8 months later he perfomed a private concert for the Queen of England." One of the others said, "That's nothing. A young man lost both arms and legs in an accident. I reattached them, and 2 years later he won a gold medal in field events at the olympics."

The third surgeon said, "You guys are amateurs. Several years ago, a cowboy, who was high on cocaine and alcohol, rode a horse head-on into a train traveling 80 miles an hour. All I had left to work with was the horse's ass and a cowboy hat. Now, he's president of the United States."

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Dear President Bush:

The Presidential Prayer Team is currently urging us to: "Pray for the President as he seeks wisdom on how to legally codify the definition of marriage. Pray that it will be according to Biblical principles. With any forces insisting on variant definitions of marriage, pray that God's Word and His standards will be honored by our government."

Any religious person believes prayer should be balanced by action. So here, in support of the Prayer Team's admirable goals, is a proposed Constitutional Amendment to codify marriage on biblical principles:

A. Marriage in the United States shall consist of a union between one man and one or more women. (Gen29:17-28; II Sam 3:2-5)

B. Marriage shall not impede a man's right to take concubines, in addition to his wife or wives. (II Sam5:13; I Kings 11:3; II Chron 11:21)

C. A marriage shall be considered valid only if the wife is a virgin. If the wife is not a virgin, she shall be executed. (Deut 22:13-21)

D. Marriage of a believer and a non-believer shall be forbidden. (Gen24:3; Num 25:1-9; Ezra 9:12; Neh10:30)

E. Since marriage is for life, neither this Constitution nor the constitution of any State, nor any state or federal law, shall be construed to permit divorce. (Deut 22:19; Mark 10:9)

F. If a married man dies without children, his brother shall marry the widow. If he refuses to marry his brother's widow or deliberately does not give her children, he shall pay a fine of one shoe. (Gen.38:6-10; Deut 25:5-10)

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How to start your day with a positive attitude:

1. Create a "new folder" on your computer.
2. Name it "George W. Bush".
3. Send it to the trash.
4. Empty the trash.
5. Your computer will ask you: "Do you really want to delete "George W. Bush"?
6. Calmly answer, "Yes", and press the mouse button firmly...





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Aishwaryathedilettante on May 14th, 2005 04:41 am (UTC)
*snicker*
Mark: Brunoboywondermark on May 15th, 2005 12:58 am (UTC)
Glad ya got a laugh from it! :)
james__sndchasr on May 14th, 2005 10:38 am (UTC)
careful with that recycle bin. It might be checked out by homeland security lol
Mark: blondboywondermark on May 15th, 2005 12:59 am (UTC)
LOL...before long they will be doing deep cavity searches of all Americans!
james__sndchasr on May 15th, 2005 03:02 am (UTC)
they better buy me dinner first! lol
Markboywondermark on May 15th, 2005 07:46 pm (UTC)
AND call me baby names! :)
james__sndchasr on May 15th, 2005 09:40 pm (UTC)
and bitch does not count as one lol
Mark: innerfireboywondermark on May 16th, 2005 02:17 am (UTC)
LMAO! Nope, not if they want me to play nice! ;)
dendroidmandendroidman on May 16th, 2005 08:27 pm (UTC)
lol that was almost better than the joke. XD
Glenn: Little Jimmyrestoman on May 15th, 2005 04:45 am (UTC)
Thanks for the laughs!!!

:-)
Mark: blondboywondermark on May 15th, 2005 07:47 pm (UTC)
Glad ya liked em, Glenn! :)